I haven't been posting regularly...but I'm sure the handful of you that read my blog have noticed that. I am having issues with the things that are in my heart matching my blog description. The issue being that they don't match...at all. The blog description says its an uplifting blog about God's grace and how we can find Him in and amongst every day life (or something like that). But the things that have been on my heart I wouldn't exactly categorize as "uplifting." Maybe toe-crunching or thought provoking...but not uplifting.
I want to be uplifting, I truly do! I see God in so many things, in so many ways that He never ceases to take my breath away. But those are not the things I feel pressing on my heart when I sit down to write. Do you know the feeling? It is the feeling that there is an important message to convey. It's like writing your children a letter for them to read when they grow up. I have thought and prayed and really, really want to have something upbeat and encouraging to say but when I heard this poem in yesterday's sermon I knew that this is the message given to me:
Three Dollars Worth of God
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,
but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk
or a snooze in the sunshine.
I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black man
or pick beets with a migrant.
I want ecstasy, not transformation.
I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth.
I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
— Wilbur Rees
I sat stock still in my chair after those words were read. They resonated in my soul and I knew them to be True. But the real issue isn't when we recognize a truth such as this one. Recognizing the problem is not the problem. The problem is when we shrug our shoulders and say, "I'm okay with that." It is when we choose to sit in our pew and ponder the lunch menu instead of how the message coming from the pastor applies to us. It is when we come into God's house dragging our feet wondering what we're going to get instead of coming to pour out our thanks for what He has already given us. It is a comfortable, complacent, apathetic Christianity that resides in the hearts of many of God's people these days.
We love verses like Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." We like getting what we want, and we totally skip over the first part of that verse that says to "Delight yourself in the Lord...." We want to forget about the last words of our Lord and Savior before He ascended into heaven that commands us to spread to gospel to everyone because it's not comfortable for us. We want God's blessings but we don't want to seek Him because, well, we don't have time, Sunday is our only day to sleep in or we find church is boring, full of hypocrites or just "not for me."
We take only a small slice of what God is offering to us and then we wonder why we don't feel His presence. We wonder why our faith seems small and we are accosted by doubts and fears. We cry out for God to answer us in our times of trouble but do not utter His name during times of plenty.
And yet, He remains faithful. He answers us, He loves us, He comforts us and He never leaves us. If God is so good in those times when we choose to take Him out of the box we tend to keep Him in, how much better could He be if we sought Him with our whole heart? How much more of Him is there when we submit to His will for our lives instead of seeking our own?
If your "religion" seems dull and lifeless, if you are still reading this blog and have a growing desire to want MORE of Jesus Christ in your life then I have successfully communicated the message. When we desire more of Jesus, we can rest assured Jesus wants more of us! Why not give Him more of you and find more of Him in the process? This is the only way we will ever experience revival. It must start with us - with bowed head, humble heart and total submission. May it start with me!
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13 (emphasis mine)
"Do you want to get well?"
This is the question Jesus asked a man that had been lying paralyzed beside a pool for THIRTY-EIGHT years! What a question, right? I would think this man would scream out, "YES!!!" Instead he gives Jesus his sob story, "Sir...I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me," (John 5:7). At first I want to feel bad for the guy, but then I think...thirty. eight. years.
I don't know about you, but when I really want something, I can think of some pretty wild schemes to get it! This man didn't seem too intent on getting well. He didn't even ask Jesus if he'd stick around and help him get into the pool. He just complained about his situation.
I love what Jesus told the man to do next. He said, "GET UP!" Ok, Jesus didn't yell (or, I don't know, maybe He did) but there IS an exclamation point after Get up! He told him to get up, pick up his mat and walk. Jesus did the work. He healed the man. But the man still had to accept the healing, he still had to carry his own mat and he had to walk.
Jesus is making you the same offer! Whatever it is that cripples you; anger, impatience, depression, lack of self-control - Jesus can heal it! But here's the catch: You have to accept the gift. When you accept a gift, you are not fighting against the person giving you the gift. You actively reach out and take the gift.
We actually already have several gifts our Lord has given us. They are the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22): love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Notice, it is the fruit of the Spirit, not the fruits of the Spirit. They are a packaged deal and given freely to anyone who has the Spirit of God within them.
So, if Christians already have them, why do we spend so much time asking, BEGGING God for them?
Galatians 5:24-25 hold the key: "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
Right after Paul says we live by the Spirit and not the flesh he says in verse 26, "Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." So what gives? If we live by the Spirit then we shouldn't be conceited, angry, jealous or anything else negative (because the Holy Spirit cannot be those things); so why does Paul remind the Galatians not to be those things? Because we are human and because we have a choice.
Just like the paralytic that Jesus healed, we have to decide if we want to get well. We have to decide that we are not going to give into our fleshly desires. For instance, last night my husband got mad at me because he thought I had gone to bed while he was putting the boys to bed. I had not gone to bed but had gone to the restroom. Then when he told me he had been angry with me...guess what? I got angry at him!
A few years ago, this fight would have lasted all night. I would have gotten myself all worked up and probably cried myself to sleep because I had been misunderstood and falsely accused. Then I would have woke up this morning still angry and when I talked to my friends on my morning walk I would have fussed about Wes to them. They probably would have jumped on the bandwagon and said something negative about their husbands. Then I would have come home and snapped at J.D. (my oldest son) for being too slow getting ready for school because I'm good and ill by this point and proceeded to give my husband the silent treatment which would have sent him off to work in a bad mood. After all of that I would have gotten on Facebook and talked with my aunt and griped some more about Wes' insensitivity.
I could go on and on but I think I've made my point. I could have chosen that road. The reason I can give such a detailed account of that road is because I have chosen MANY times before. I know what it looks like. So, how did it turn out for real? Wes said, "I'm sorry I got mad at you," and I said, "That's okay, I was mad at you for being mad at me. Silly huh?" And that was it.
I have decided I don't want to be angry. Sometimes I feel justified in my anger; I have the "right" to be angry. But does it really accomplish anything? In my story, what did my anger accomplish? I got three friends in a bad mood with me, hurt my child's feelings, made my husband angry and got my day off to a rotten start.
Whether your issue is anger or depression or financial issues I have to ask you this question: Do you want to get well? We have to stop wishing to get well, pick up our mat and start walking! Jesus will do the work but we have to work with Him instead of against Him.
Get into the Word and find a couple of verses that speaks to you about your ailment. Commit those verses to memory and live them out! Attitude is everything. Make a decision - Get up and WALK!
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5
I have always believed myself to be ambidextrous. I came by it honest. My right-handed parents gave birth to a left-handed child and so I learned how to do most things backwards. Well, backwards to me...correctly to most of you. My parents taught me to fish, bowl, tie my shoes, bat and many other tasks right-handed because that is the only way they knew how.
Yesterday while playing ball with my boys I learned something amazing! When it came my turn to bat my husband told me to "try it the other way"...you know, just for fun. So I did. Guess what?! I am a LEFT-handed batter. I couldn't believe how much better I did just by swapping hitting sides. It was unbelievable! I hit the ball almost every pitch and it went a LOT farther. I was (am still) astounded!!
Then I got to thinking about how that lesson can be applied to my spiritual walk. You see, I've had sort of a regeneration of my faith in the past month. I have discovered that I had not been giving God or Jesus enough credit. Somehow I thought that Jesus' blood and sacrifice covered my sins BEFORE my conversion and profession of faith, but I was still trying to work my way to "getting better" by my own efforts.
Thank the good Lord I got that straight!
I had put so much pressure on myself that I was ready to call it quits. I was just done. I was overwhelmed, frustrated, aggravated, angry and most of all just tired! I couldn't do it anymore. That's when the grace of God was redefined for me.
To think all these years I had been trusting God to save me from my past but still trying to work my way to heaven! I'll keep this truth short and sweet with a couple of verses:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17
" ...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ...being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:6,11
I am a new creation that has been started by God Himself and the fruit that is in me has been placed there by Jesus. God is going to finish what He started. There is no work that I can DO to add to what has already been done. As the hymn says, "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow."
Does this mean I stop serving the Lord? Absolutely not! But now, I do it for Him to get the glory; not because I'm trying to make up for my mistakes. His grace covers me when I mess up. He is not surprised by my blunders or screw-ups, He is not looking down on me shaking His head wondering what He's going to do with me. He knows exactly what He's going to do with me! I just need to let Him!!
All this time, I had been trying to pave the way to heaven MY way instead of relying on the way that had already been paved for me! All this time, I had been batting the wrong way! When I finally got turned around the right way, things went much better.
It still feels a little weird when I bat left-handed. But I know, now, that it works MUCH better that way! It is the same in my spiritual walk. Sometimes it stills feels strange to accept God's grace when I mess up and keep going. It feels odd to trust God to do all the work while I simply spend my time being His instrument and getting to know Him better. But I'm discovering that things just don't work MY way; instead, I need to turn around and try it the OTHER way!
I wonder why more
people don't want to become Christians. I wonder why our faith is so difficult
to talk about. I wonder why more Christians aren't joyful. All this makes me wonder:
How good is the good news?
To
be blunt, if Christians walk around looking like we just got
finished sucking on a bag of lemons, the world will take notice...and
promptly decide that if that is what being a "follower of Jesus" looks
like, then they want no part in it. Can you blame them? If the news we
have to share is so good - why don't we act like it?
Maybe we don't fully understand the news.
The most amazing part of the gospel is grace. Grace literally means, "unmerited favor." What God has made available to us, through the sacrifice of His Son, is His extravagant, unlimited, unmerited favor! It means that when Jesus came to forgive our sin, He came to forgive ALL our sin! Past sin, present sin, even the sins we have yet to commit. When we accept Christ, we acknowledge our guilt and He, in turn, declares us Not Guilty!
If we are "not guilty," then how is it so many of us are walking around feeling guilty? Why are so many of us tired of "fighting the good fight"? Why do we feel so defeated? Why do Christians often appear frustrated, stressed and less-than-joyful?
For me, the reason was simple. I was trying to better myself. I was trying so hard to be good that I was failing and making myself miserable. I had already given God my "big" stuff. I gave him my past promiscuity, my alcoholism, my abortion...all the really big bags, so to speak. I gave Him my past, what I didn't give Him was my present - my temper, my pride, my arrogance, my feelings of inadequacy, my fear and my stubbornness. (The list is way longer, but I was afraid you'd stop reading if I listed EVERYTHING.) Somehow, I failed to understand that Jesus forgave these sins too.
I face at least one of these "old pals" every day. And every time I failed to win the battle (which was often) I would feel guilty. Then I would repent. Then I would add another thing to my "holy to-do list" in an effort to make up for my mistake. Rinse and repeat. And what did I get? A very long to-do list!! I could not help but feel like a screw-up. Especially when I would do something like yell at my kids for being too loud while I'm TRYING TO PRAY! Do I have any sisters out there? Are you getting where I'm going?
That whole process left me drained and tired. There was little joy in my life. Don't get me wrong, I got good at faking it. But inside, I still felt like I was just play-acting. I could talk about the power of redemption and knew it to be true but the joy from my own redemption experience had long since faded. I was fighting every day to feel good enough. And you know what? I never made it.
But then, something amazing happened!
Someone told me that God isn't mad at me. Someone told me He is not up there shaking His head wondering what in the world He was going to do with someone like me. Someone explained to me that when God says "unmerited favor," He means it! When He says "unmerited" it means we don't deserve it. He gives us His favor because He loves us. And the best part is this: We cannot do anything to make Him love us any less...or any MORE. I truly believed that I had to work to get better. God says I don't. God says that when I accepted His Son, His Son had already done the work.
Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus;"
now go to verse 11: "filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God." (emphasis mine)
God completes the work, not me; the fruit is through Jesus, not my effort. Can I just say: PHEW!! Thank You, Jesus!! I do not have to walk around shackled by the guilt of my every day failures. I am human. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be in this life. The sooner I get comfortable with that, the better off I will be. And do you know something? Any works that I do in order to try and "get better" will be for naught.
When
we start trying to "get better" by our own works and accomplishments,
we lose any joy we may have had in the beginning of our walk with Jesus. We get bogged down in condemnation. We start living
in fear of God instead of marveling at His love. We wrap ourselves in
chains of guilt and shame until we cannot move.
Jesus put it this way: "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5 (emphasis mine)
The only way to "get better" is by abiding in Jesus. I can't make myself better, I can't try and do more good things in order to be good enough. I wasn't good enough to begin with and I won't ever be good enough. But if I hang out with Jesus; if I talk with Him; if I read His word, soak up His abundant, extravagant grace; then I find I start to bear fruit - I start to get better! I start to exhibit the fruit of righteousness...one of those fruits is joy!
After Jesus tells His disciples about the vine, He tells them this: "As my Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:9-11
Jesus wants to give us JOY! Not only that, He wants to give us HIS joy and our joy to be complete! This is the joy that the world is seeking and needs to know about. The only way they will know about it is if they see it all over us. Christ in us, grace that covers ALL our sin, unmerited favor of God that we cannot lose once we accept it. THIS is the gospel of good news! The news that the grace of God is bigger than our sin!! I hear that grace calling to us! I hear freedom singing its song! I hear Jesus telling us to come just as we are and let Him and the Father take care of the rest! I hear shackles falling to the ground! I hear the GOOD news!!
I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! Many of you would probably say the highlight of this holiday season was filled with love, laughter, family, friends and a celebration of an empty tomb. Mine was slightly different. I had all of the above but the highlight was the lesson I learned from losing my four year old at church.
I had taken both my boys (J.D. is 6 and Jon is 4) into the sanctuary with me at church to practice special music with the praise team. J.D. asked me if he could go to the bathroom and Jon asked me for a peppermint. I told J.D. to go ahead, gave Jon the peppermint and turned to greet one of my friends. When I looked again I didn't see Jon. This was not a problem because I thought he had gone to find his brother. But then J.D. came back without Jon so I asked where he was. He said, "I don't know, I haven't seen him." I searched high and low with a mixture of emotions flowing through me. At first, I was just irritated because Jon often disappears like this but he usually isn't very far - he's just distracted by something and not paying attention to the fact his name has been called about 10 times! Then I found that he was NOT anywhere nearby and I start to get worried. By the time I saw him walking with Mr. Brett to his Sunday school room across the courtyard, I was in a full panic! I ran (in heels!) across the elders Sunday school class, burst out the door and bellowed, "JONATHAN!"
I cannot recall being so angry, yet relieved, with one of my children. True, he was only gone for ten minutes but it was the longest ten minutes of my life! And now that I had him back safe and sound...he was gonna get it! I was shaking with emotion as I interrogated him trying to figure out where he had gone (he had gone to show his Sunday school teacher his peppermint). I told him, "Son, I am too angry to whip you right now, but I am going to whip you when we get home this afternoon!"
And I fully intended to! However, God used the time in between to show me a teachable moment. When we got home, I took Jon into the bedroom and we talked about what he had done wrong and why I was so upset with him. When we finished I asked him what was about to happen. The poor kid began and to cry and moaned, "You're gonna whip me!" Very quietly I replied, "No, I'm not going to whip you. Do you know why? Because it is Easter. And God showed us great mercy today." I continued to explain that the Bible tells us that because we all do things that are wrong that we deserve to be punished. But God sent Jesus to die on the cross and forgive us so we wouldn't have to be punished. And that is mercy.
Ordinarily, I would have let my emotions rule, yelled and spanked my son then felt horrible later on. However, my Heavenly Father got a hold of my heart before I could lay hands on my son. I want my children to understand the extraordinary gift of salvation...but how are they to do that if they do not first understand mercy and grace? How are they going to know what mercy is if they do not see it in me? How are they going to extend grace to others if it is not extended to them at home?
Better yet, how are we to show a lost and dying world their need for a Savior if we don't show them what Jesus' love looks like? Maybe it is time we showed them mercy. Maybe it is time we extended them grace. Mercy to come just as they are - with no judgement for where they are or where they have been; grace in giving them love and friendship they have not earned. Isn't that is what attracted so many to Jesus? He attracted the broken, the sinful, the lost, the sick, the outcast...He attracted me!
This Easter season, I am so grateful God did not give me what I deserve! To most unbelievers, God is an angry God who is just waiting to punish those who step out of line; the Bible is an encyclopedia of thou-shalt-nots; and Christians are a bunch of stiffs running around trying to please an impossible Deity. And can I tell you something? Some Christians believe this too! Some of us have forgotten that the blood of Jesus covers ALL of our sin. That means the sins we committed before we came to Christ, the sins we may be entertaining right this second and our future sins! Because of God's mercy we did not get what we deserve (death) and because of His grace we now have an inheritance we in no way deserve (eternal life)! This truth should be a cause for celebration each and every day, it should cause us to have joy no matter our circumstances. Now, let's get happy and spread the GOOD NEWS!
Life is a journey. Our walk with the Lord is a journey. If you think about a traveling anywhere, you don't spend much time standing still. If I am taking a trip someplace, I have a goal in mind and am pressing on towards reaching that destination. There are stops along the way, beautiful scenic views that seem to demand my attention. But the stops are not the end of the journey, they are just places where I rest and catch my breath.
Often when we talk about our journey with God we speak in terms of either mountain tops or valleys. We reference our awesome mountain top experiences or we talk about our rock bottom valley-of-the-shadow-of-deaths. But how much time do those moments take? If you think about it, most of the time we are traveling. We are either climbing the mountain or heading into the valley.
Now think about this. When we climb a mountain (or, in my case, a steep hill) the going is slow and not always easy. There are loose rocks to watch out for, breath to catch, sometimes the path isn't easy to see and we are not even sure we are going in the right direction. But we finally reach the top and get to behold the majestic view. And then...it's time to get moving again.
When I find myself in a valley, it usually happens fairly quick. It's like I slid down on my backside without realizing it. I look up and am looking up from the bottom and can't quite remember how I got there. Regardless of how I got there - I am there, and the only thing left to do is start climbing out.
Either way, in either place, the pause at the top or the screeching halt at the bottom is momentary. Most of the time on this journey, we are moving in one direction or the other. We are either headed in the right direction to the next mountaintop experience or slipping down into the valley. My question for us to ponder today is...which way are you headed?
I find I spend more time with God during my difficult times. When I am not sure of the path; loosing my footing or am looking up the sides of the valley. What I really need to be doing is spending constant time in communion with the Maker of the path! If I do, the path is a little clearer and I can hear His direction. Without His direction I am hopelessly lost. If I talk to Him often, I recognize His voice easily and can follow where He directs me. His path is not always easy, but He is always supporting me. With Him, I will not fail, I will not falter, I will finish the journey with His hand in mine!
The thing to remember is the neither the mountain high or the valley low define us. God can use all of our experiences if we let Him! In fact, He wants to use EVERYTHING to shape us into the person He wants us to be. We cannot get so lost along the way He cannot find us; we cannot slide into a valley so low He cannot save us. We just have to make sure we journey with Him and not strike out on our own! So whose path are you following today? His or your own?
It's spring! I LOVE spring!! I love the flowers; I love the newness of life that happens with the plants and animals; I love the smell of fresh cut grass and the birds singing in the trees. It brings to my mind God's renewing spirit that refreshes us each and every day if we let Him.
However, it also brings with it a horrendously depressing aspect as well: bathing suite shopping.
There are two items I hate shopping for above all else. Bathing suites and jeans. I foolishly attempted to do both yesterday. The ending result was teary eyes and shoulders being slumped in defeat as I walked out of the THIRD store empty-handed! I could go on and on about what I hate about shopping (starting with the mirrors that I am CONVINCED department stores get from carnival fun houses) but I won't.
I admit I was shocked that I felt so defeated because I PRAYED before going shopping. That's right! I prayed because I every other time I have gone shopping I have experienced the same self depreciating thoughts and mind sets. I was like Hello, God, I prayed about this and I shouldn't be feeling this way...are You there?
Then I heard the song "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder Band. Some of the lyrics say, You make everything glorious, You make everything glorious, You make everything glorious and I am Yours. What does that make me?
Wow. I sat straight up in the car seat and said out loud, "I am GLORIOUS!"
Then I thought about my attitude towards my body. Of course there are things that I would like to change. I don't like my wide hips or my ample back side but God says that He knit me together. When I think of someone knitting I picture someone with extraordinary patience. I see their needles working intricately to make knots and connect them together to make something beautiful. And that is what God has done for me...and for YOU.
Who am I to look at His creation, His masterpiece and criticize what I see? If the fault is mine (and I'll be honest: it is!) then I need to take better care of the body He has so thoughtfully and carefully made for me. If it is a feature that is beyond exercise then I need to reevaluate my attitude. If my Creator pronounces me beautiful then I. AM. BEAUTIFUL!
Society tells us we need to be slim and trim, have cute little noses, impossibly big boobs and have just the right clothes. But God tells us that we need Him. I am going to stand in agreement with my Maker and declare myself beautiful! I will pray about ways I can be more responsible and improve the condition of the body God has made for me but I will agree with God and not the world.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made! It is time we acknowledge this truth and start acting like we believe it!!
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. ~Psalm 139:13-14
