Thursday, February 16, 2012

Watch For the Robins...

As I stomp through my kitchen with my emotions reeling and tumbling leaving a deep frown on my face and anger in my heart I wonder; who am I angry with? Am I angry with God for taking my Dad at the early age of 51? Am I angry at the unfinished business he and I had? Am I angry that I never got to tell him how much I love him and how I wanted him to go fishing with me next summer or teach the boys to hunt when they get older? Why am I angry? Why do I feel all alone? Why is it that no matter how many times my husband hugs me and tells me it will get better I still feel a million miles away? Why is it when someone asks me how I am doing I smile and tell them how good God is when sometimes all I really feel is confused? All of these thoughts crash through my mind as the crease in my forehead deepens and I feel tears rising to the surface once more...then I see them.

From my kitchen window on December 26th I see hundreds of robins alight on my lawn. Each of them hopping back and forth making a virtual sea of black heads and orange-red breasts. All I can do is stare and wonder what they are doing here. It's a little early for them. Waiting for the robins is my favorite part of spring. They remind me that spring is coming...warm sunshine is are is coming. And then the gentle breath of the Holy Spirit fills me and says, "Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows," Luke 12:6-7.

God sent me a message that day. I am not alone. In my darkest anger, in my deepest depression God sees me, hears me, loves me, cares for me. I - am - not - alone. And neither are you.

Whatever you are going through, no matter your reaction to your circumstances God is there in your midst. The Bible calls David "a man after God's own heart". My personal feeling is that it was because David talked to God; told Him how he felt and just laid his heart at the feet of Jehovah. David did not feel the need to hide his feelings from God, even when he felt like God had abandoned him. So why do we do that? God already knows what we are feeling...why not let Him carry the burden?

Those robins brought back my hope. They were God's messengers reminding me that "weeping last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Is it morning yet? Not quite. But I have an expectant anticipation for the morning. I know it is coming. And in the meantime I have a Savior that loves me enough to send me the ultimate, "Thinking of You" card.

So whatever it is that is darkening your sky, just know that God is already there. He is there with His promise of spring, the promise of morning...the promise of joy. We can all get wrapped up in our circumstances and Satan would love for us to stay that way. But don't! Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." I read somewhere the word "wait" in that verse means to "watch for expectantly". So watch expectantly for the little ways God is trying to talk to you. Watch for the robins...

1 comment:

  1. Amanda, if you only knew how many times I have referred back to your note on fb since it was posted! An ever so gentle reminder.....every time I need it! God has blessed you with a wonderful talent of writing (among other things) and I'm so happy to see you putting it to purpose! I love you!